30 Days Into Losing My Mom
“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone.”
- Fred Rogers
With that being said, I’d like to share some thoughts about losing my Mom just over a month ago.
I’m not sharing because I need sympathy, but because the stigma and/or ignorance of grief is so often a thing grievers have to deal with and I’m learning from other grievers that I’m not alone in how I feel and want others to feel the same solidarity and openness to share. Our world is so grief illiterate and even though I had months to ready myself, I was woefully unprepared.
The following words were really hard to write and even harder to share, but if it makes someone else feel like they aren’t alone, then it’s totally worth it.
It’s officially been a little over a month since Mom made her well-deserved journey to heaven. That phone call still seems like yesterday. I’d do anything to have her back, but I would never wish that upon her. I’ll never forget the overwhelming sense of peace surrounding her as I gently stroked her hair that night and said goodbye to her weary earthly vessel for the last time. Her battle was finished, her race run. Her peace had finally come. Her time to dance and experience unimaginable joy had come.
One month in and it seems almost impossible to move forward some days and I’m learning that’s OK. Sometimes sitting in the stillness and remembering the amazing life we all shared with her is powerful, healing, and necessary. Some days I walk by a photo of her smiling and it brings an instant smile to my face. Some days, that same photo makes me cry like a baby.
As painful as all of this may be, I’m incredibly thankful for my wife and father. I can never say that enough. Spending time together as a family has always been my favorite thing. I always look forward to our days together. I know Mom would love how close we’ve all become over this. She had such a way of making us all feel so deeply loved and cared for. And now we must carry on that legacy of love and deep appreciation for each other, our family, and our friends. I miss you, Mom. 💔